Man Slammed for Changing Locks Behind Wife's Back: 'Broke Her Trust'

Dec 29, 2023

A man who swapped back the locks on his house after his wife had them changed has been slammed online.

In a post shared on Monday on Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum which now has over 17,000 upvotes, user u/SockNo7319 explained how his wife had changed the locks after his sister continued to leave their home in a mess.

According to a survey by Yelp, 80 percent of couples living together have disagreements about housework, with one-fifth saying that they disagree often.

Explaining the circumstances of the argument with his wife, the Redditor wrote: "I have a beautiful wife who loves to serve others. We bought a home down the street from my family. I have a sweet sister who likes to crash at our house with her friends."

He explained that his wife is usually easygoing, but recently things had changed. When her sister was visiting, she and her friends had been leaving a mess—mostly towels on the floor after using the pool.

"My wife got upset picking up after them every day. I asked my sister to make sure the house is clean after they leave and it has been better," said the poster.

"My wife also complained that some of her perfumes and personal items have gone missing. My sister said it's not her. I believe my sister. I don't see her doing that."

After this, a second issue occurred when the Redditor's wife made some pans of cinnamon rolls from scratch. With one pan for the family and another for a co-worker who was going through a tragedy.

When his wife went to the gym and he went to work, the Redditor's sister and friends came by and before long texted to ask if they could have the second pan of cinnamon rolls too.

"My wife said no," explained the Redditor.

"They ate them anyways. My wife—upset—went and bought new locks. When I came home my wife handed me a new key and told me that she didn't want anyone else to have a key to our house."

Despite trying to calm his wife down, she did not budge.

"My wife decided this was her hill to die on and said no, my sister lost the privilege to come when we are not home."

A little after, the Redditor's mom called to ask if his sister could use the pool for a back-to-school party. Under the impression that his mom would be there too, the man said yes.

"The easiest solution was for me to change the locks back so they could come into the house," he explained. "My mom didn't come with my sister. When my wife got home after the party, it was a mess. She sent me photos. She called me the a**hole for changing the locks without telling her about it, then told me I broke her trust."

After telling her husband she would be staying with a friend for a while, the wife left and the Reddit user turned to the internet for advice.

"Am I the a**hole here?" he asked: "I feel like I have tried to right any wrongs that have happened between my wife and my sister."

But replies on the viral post were not sympathetic and overwhelmingly sided with the wife. One commenter said: "Have fun being divorced," while another wrote: "Yes you're the a**hole. Your wife is allowed to have a safe home that isn't trashed when she's not there by your family."

"Have your spouse's back," said another comment. "Yeah, she shouldn't have changed the locks without talking to you but if you would set boundaries with your family she wouldn't have had to."

In a later update, the poster added some detail: "I talked to my mom again and let her know my sister isn't allowed over without me home. I asked a friend's wife who is a maid to come deep clean our home so when/if my wife comes home it's clean," he explained.

The man's wife and sister later came to visit, and his sister had a bag containing his wife's things.

"More stuff than I thought was gone," he said. "Most items are in poor shape. The big thing is she had my wife's grandmother's ring, I thought it was in the safe. I had no idea it was gone. My sister said that she found it on my wife's nightstand during the party. She forgot she had it on when she left our home. The ring isn't valuable it's just sentimental. I told my mom who the ring belonged to. My mom lost it. My sister is now grounded."

"This post has made me furious on your wife's behalf," said another reply: "Wake up man."

Newsweek has reached out to u/SockNo7319 for comment. Newsweek has been unable to verify the details of this case.

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